December 08, 2022
252: The Art of a Holistic Alcohol Coach with Mary Wagstaff

As a holistic alcohol coach, Mary Wagstaff uses her own journey of inquiring into alcohol to help clients see that a new relationship with alcohol is possible and that it can be a tool of empowerment. Dive into this episode t...


As a holistic alcohol coach, Mary Wagstaff uses her own journey of inquiring into alcohol to help clients see that a new relationship with alcohol is possible and that it can be a tool of empowerment. Dive into this episode to learn the consequences of alcohol and how we can eradicate our desire to consume it!

In this episode, we'll cover the following:

  • Effects of alcohol on the brain and body
  • The role of the divine feminine in our relationship to alcohol 
  • Why mindset and words are important in changing our relationship with alcohol


About Mary Wagstaff
Mary Wagstaff is a Holistic Alcohol Coach that loves to talk to her audience about the infiltration of alcohol as an acceptable part of a healthy lifestyle. She found herself one morning on the floor of a hot yoga studio, unable to finish her practice because of the fleeting night before. While she lived life by her own design, she couldn’t beat the daily overwhelm of a mind consumed by alcohol. The consequences were taking away the pleasure of all she had worked so hard for.  

She then helped turn the minds and hearts of other women struggling with alcohol exhaustion into Women of Self Authority by eliminating their desire for alcohol altogether. That’s when she created her coaching mentorship program. A holistic approach to getting alcohol out of the way, so they can find more meaning and connection in their lives. 

This revolutionary process has transformed women with varying relationships to alcohol from around the world from daily drinkers to high-level thinkers. Turning their desire for alcohol into reawakening their desire for life. 

It is her humbled, high honor to walk Women from around the world through this sacred threshold of initiation to the other side of alcohol, where they find deep alignment with their values and purpose.


Connect with Mary


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Transcript

[00:00:00] Mary Wagstaff: You cannot drink all day long. But if your emotions and your thought, your mindset is not in alignment with a different version of yourself, and a lot of it is about creating a new self-concept, who is the woman on the other side of alcohol? Who do I wanna become? What do I want to look like? 

[00:00:17] Maya Acosta: You have more power over your health than what you've been told. This is the Healthy Lifestyle Solutions podcast. I'm Maya Acosta and I'm passionate about finding healthy lifestyle solutions to support optimal human health. If you're willing to go with me. Together we can discover how simple lifestyle choices can help improve our quality of life and increase longevity in a big way.

[00:00:41] Maya Acosta: Let's get started. If you're looking for ways to improve your sobriety and support others in their sobriety journey, this episode is for you, Mary Wagstaff. A holistic alcohol coach will explain the five ships so that you can build inner resiliency and coping skills and change your relationship with alcohol. As always, the full bio and the links for each of my guests can be found on the website healthy lifestyle solutions.org.

[00:01:08] Maya Acosta: Let's meet Mary. Welcome back to another episode of the Healthy Lifestyle Solutions podcast. I'm your host, Maya Acosta, and so I'm excited today about, A topic that I'm becoming more and more open about, which is sobriety. And so we have Mary Wag staff who's also a sobriety coach, and we're gonna learn about her story and how she supports other people. Welcome, Mary. 

[00:01:32] Mary Wagstaff: Oh my gosh, my, I'm so excited to be here and share with your audience. I know that they are gonna benefit so much from this, and just thank you for taking the time to have me. I just really appreciate it.

[00:01:41] Maya Acosta: Thank you. We should also add that you're a podcaster, so you have a podcast where you address your listeners about how you support people going sober. Before we talk about that, please tell us your story. How did you get into all of this? You know, helping people. Go sober sobriety. That's a big topic. 

[00:02:00] Mary Wagstaff: It is a big topic. Yeah. Well, we teach what we know, right? And so, of course, that was my journey. And in as a verb, sobriety just means one that doesn't drink, but it holds so much weight in our culture that I do tend to leave that out a little bit of my content.

[00:02:17] Mary Wagstaff: And so I really call myself a holistic alcohol coach because people. There are judgements and their subjective interpretation about what it means to be sober is like this othering, right? Like if I'm not drinking, if I'm decided to be sober now I'm like label myself that way. And what I say for myself is I don't even really identify that.

[00:02:36] Mary Wagstaff: It's like something I once did and now I just don't do it anymore cuz it's not useful for my life. However, I did it a lot and there was a point where I thought. There was no way I can ever give up alcohol. I thought it was so much a part of my identity. When I would think about the future without alcohol, it kind of felt like a void.

[00:02:52] Mary Wagstaff: And it was, you know, an unintentional habit that as frequency and duration went on, became. A crutch became something that I thought about a lot. Not necessarily craving it or drinking it every day, but definitely thinking about it. And then as time went on and I wanted to change my relationship to alcohol, I started thinking about it even more.

[00:03:18] Mary Wagstaff: So this is what I call alcohol exhaustion, where it's kind of on your brain all the time. Even if you're not necessarily, like I said, craving it or drinking, and this is very normal for many people who are just kind of entering the next phase of their life, especially wanting to really just meet their potential, meet themselves, and alcohol wears on us, especially as we get older, as you know, like healthy lifestyle solutions.

[00:03:44] Mary Wagstaff: So taking a step back for a moment. Basically, I grew up in a culture most of us do, where alcohol is a normal thing for socializing. My dad taught me how to bartend. He was a career bartender and I bartended. I worked in the service industry for many, many years, but I also lived a healthy lifestyle, uh, parallel life as a wellness and yoga practitioner, and I'm so proud of myself to say that I have been a yoga practitioner.

[00:04:11] Mary Wagstaff: Now for longer than I was ever a drinker. So I've been practicing the science of yoga for over 23 years, as well as other health and wellness modalities of mindfulness tools, meditation, other forms of fitness, and. Yeah, I think I always say this really since the day I started drinking, there was some version of me that wanted to stop.

[00:04:31] Mary Wagstaff: Like it was just never in full alignment with who I wanted to express myself as as a human. And of course, if it has a negative impact on our day to day in any way, even if that's just feeling a little tired, a little disconnected, I've always really saw a life of devotion and self-inquiry. So there was always just this conflict in my mind, and what I say is, If you're sold on something a hundred percent, like I never go to yoga and think, oh God, I shouldn't have done that.

[00:04:59] Mary Wagstaff: Right? Like if you're sold on something a hundred percent, you're not questioning it if it's in alignment with your truth. And that's why for so many people, the normalized social norms of drinking, I think that most people question at some point and wake up and think, man, this is like getting to me. And so it's really is my mission to change the social stigma about what it means to want a new relationship to alcohol, that that's normal, that the effects of alcohol are normal. It's a normal thing that your brain, like it's a normal human thing for your brain to become addicted or a habitual use of alcohol. And that even the word addiction doesn't have to be a bad thing.

[00:05:35] Mary Wagstaff: Like I was totally 100% addicted to alcohol and I'm not anymore. But that's not because of me. That's because of what the chemical. To the human. So I had started this journey of inquiry around alcohol and I was really determined to like figure this out because I knew I wanted to step more into my entrepreneurial journey.

[00:05:53] Mary Wagstaff: I had had a baby and it was like, there's nothing worse than feeling hungover and you have a, like a newborn that needs your support. And it was, you know, it just was really this reflection back into my face of like the woman that I really wanted to be and how I really wanted to walk my talk a hundred percent.

[00:06:10] Mary Wagstaff: And it really wasn't until I met my spiritual teacher who teaches on the art of the feminine mysteries and the cyclical nature of who we are as women in relationship to the earth in relationship to the moon. And it's really something that I feel like has deeply been, is missing from our culture, is our connection to the most innate parts of who we are as humans.

[00:06:31] Mary Wagstaff: Our integral part of the whole of Humana, like of being part of this web of life. And so when I started to dive more into that, even though I had been on a spiritual journey for many, many years, when the feminine started to awaken in me and I saw this other path of spirituality through the lens of the divine feminine, that thing that felt like a void.

[00:06:51] Mary Wagstaff: Started to become a possibility. Instead of feeling like it was a void, it became this beautiful world of infinite possibility and all these parts of me that I didn't know how to express. Through kind of our masculine dominated culture, I started to see how powerful emotions were versus them being problems, how powerful the essence of the feminine aspects of me could be when I just never saw feminine leadership.

[00:07:19] Mary Wagstaff: Mirrored, I saw women in leadership roles, but it was really through the lens of a masculine output, which is very much what alcohol is, is a masculine energy. And so when I started to see how women could be in a leadership role through the feminine, through leading with their emotion, everything changed for me and the switch flipped, and I started using all these tools that I had generated all throughout the last 20 years and started shifting them towards.

[00:07:48] Mary Wagstaff: My relationship to alcohol and I really started to shift the perspective of more compassion, more curiosity. And of course there was a transition I had to go through, but it was this perspective shift that really made it feel possible. And it was very quickly after that that like, I just was like, oh yeah, this is actually much easier than I thought it was gonna be, and I was giving so much weight to something that's literally just a beverage choice, and I get to decide what I want the other side of alcohol to look like.

[00:08:18] Mary Wagstaff: It can be doom and gloom and you know, deprivation, or it can be this next leveling of my empowerment, this next level of my journey of awakening. And then I created this process called the Five Shifts, and I knew that it was something that I had never heard of. I had had some influences in the alcohol kind of sobriety sphere, but it was, you know, I really lead with kind of a spiritual lens as well, and.

[00:08:47] Mary Wagstaff: I knew people needed to hear about this, and it was just this path that was laid in front of me that I could have never have dreamed of. But here I am today to tell the story that a new relationship to alcohol as a tool of empowerment and really. Awakening to a new version of yourself and dreams that you didn't even know you had is available to everyone, and it really is a next leveling of your potential. So that's my story, and I'm sticking to it. 

[00:09:18] Maya Acosta: That's beautiful. First of all, I feel like you're speaking my language, so thank you. I'm excited about all that you just covered, especially waking up to the feminine mysteries and that power that we don't allow to flourish in this culture. Yeah. Words are very important to you, and I've heard you say this in your podcast, so labeling, like how we started our conversation, you don't use the word sober, if you will allow me for the sake of this conversation.

[00:09:46] Maya Acosta: Yeah, totally. Just to know what I know. I think it is important though that you're emphasizing that now I've heard other people shy away from going to support groups because they don't wanna join the common, the one that we know of, alcoholic Anonymous, is what a lot of people are aware of. They don't wanna join the group and get stuck in this whole labeling of I am an alcoholic, and then living the rest of their lives that way.

[00:10:11] Maya Acosta: Right. But you're right inside, we now. That we probably shouldn't be drinking or drinking as much. So there's this intuition that we have that's telling us, Hey, something's wrong. I don't think you should take this path. So I'd like if you could talk a little bit more about why people shy away from seeking support and why say, for example, your program is more effective, because it sounds like what you're doing as a support group with your members. You're helping them to change their relationship with alcohol and then you're helping them to flourish. Yeah. In life, period. 

[00:10:43] Mary Wagstaff: Yeah. And you know, Maya, I think so much of it, I really don't like to blame or shame anything that exists in the world because like AA and the 12-step process has helped so many people and if it saves lives and there is a spectrum of use and dependency and that I studied resilience and coping in my formal studies and university and what creates.

[00:11:05] Mary Wagstaff: Inner resilience and coping is a vast variety of different things like inner resourcing, right? Like what builds those tools of cultivating are different from, you know, you, to me, to cultivate and shift into new possibility, to have determination and really pick ourselves up. And it's just such a spectrum that there's just no one way to label.

[00:11:29] Mary Wagstaff: Everyone the same. And so for so much of it, I just feel like it's evolution as the human evolves and as consciousness evolves and we're seeing in the world in so many ways, so many areas now, an awakening to things that we didn't have awareness to or that we weren't willing to necessarily look at. So I really feel the same is true with alcohol.

[00:11:50] Mary Wagstaff: Like people did the best with what they knew how, with what they had the information about. But what I found in my own, Firsthand experience and then working with clients is that it's really just not true That the term alcoholic really doesn't make sense when there's all sorts of other drugs to get addicted to, and I find what we don't understand, we other. right?

[00:12:14] Mary Wagstaff: We kind of have to create this space for it because we don't fully understand it. And because alcohol is a legal drug, I believe that's why we've had to other it and that there's like this quote unquote normal drinking, and that's really the biggest difference I have with AA and the 12-step program, which I've never been a part of.

[00:12:31] Mary Wagstaff: So there's so much of it. I don't know. There are some things I really align with, but what they say is that the alcoholic always has an illusion that he can someday be a normal drinker. He or She or They, and I just don't even understand what that means. Like alcohol to me is normalized emotional avoidance in some way.

[00:12:51] Mary Wagstaff: Whether or not we're having one drink or 20, we are shifting and altering the state of the present moment. Does it mean it's bad? I say like, party on, right? Like it's up to you about the results that you want. So that's what I really encourage my clients. And just so your audience knows, I do work exclusively one on one.

[00:13:11] Mary Wagstaff: So it's very intimate program and process that I take my clients through and it is a journey of awakening. So I, one of my main philosophies. It's that it's not you that needs to change to be better suited for alcohol, yet alcohol is no longer suited for the life you wanna live. So just like me and wanting to step into my leadership role as a mother and as a the leader I knew I was born to be, I've always facilitated and kind of been at the, in the, like, the stage and it was, alcohol was killing my confidence.

[00:13:43] Mary Wagstaff: It was blocking my creativity. There was all these things that like I just didn't have access to my cognitive abilities, my prefrontal cortex, like all of this stuff. And not to mention the havoc that it wreaks on every system in the body, but so that's really the difference. And because I don't think that you need to.

[00:14:01] Mary Wagstaff: Shift from being a drinker into being a sober person. I think you just decide to become more of you, and that's what's available when we get alcohol out of the way. There's so much, because alcohol doesn't just eliminate some of our discomfort or amplify. You know, people have this illusion that it kind of amplifies a good time, but in reality it really dissociates us from all of our emotions.

[00:14:27] Mary Wagstaff: So it does limit our access to the best parts of us. Also, the creativity, the wonder, the awe, the enchantment, the. Deep pleasure. The eroticism, like I really see alcohol. The more and more I study it, I see alcohol as a sign of unmet desires because if our desires are fully met and we're fully satisfied with the present moment, and it could just be something that has been unexamined unintentionally, right?

[00:14:54] Mary Wagstaff: It's very innocent, and it's like, well, what about this moment really feels. Not enough in this moment and why? Maybe it's my interpretation of it. And the one other thing I'll say, Maya, about words and why I make an emphasis on those is because with the AA does have more of a fear-based. Scarcity model for the consumer.

[00:15:18] Mary Wagstaff: And when we say those words, I'm broken, I'm wrong. Alcohol's poison. The vibration of those words do not produce a positive emotion versus saying something like, This is how I take care of myself. I wanna live into my potential. Now, when you say those words in your body, our thoughts, our words that we say in our head is what creates emotion for us?

[00:15:44] Mary Wagstaff: So if we're gonna say words about a change that we're gonna make, And this is one of the myths of drinking, and this is why shaming alcohol even doesn't really work, is because it, it creates a negative vibration of an emotion in the body that is not sustainable for change. Like no one has ever shamed themself enough into change or even shaming alcohol for that matter as like, oh, it's poison.

[00:16:09] Mary Wagstaff: It's a neurotoxin. I'm gonna break up with it. All of these things, it's like we don't wanna talk about what we're moving away from. We really wanna emphasize what we're moving towards, right? So my program with my clients is all based in mindfulness, being in the direct experience of our lives in the present moment, using our prefrontal cortex, our executive function.

[00:16:32] Mary Wagstaff: So we're re-patterning some of the programming of our habitual network. And also mindset. What is our belief system about alcohol? Do we really think we're missing out? And let's examine that. What are we really missing out on? Is it true or is it just a story we've continued to tell ourself and a narration that's been reinforced just through the social lens as well.

[00:16:54] Mary Wagstaff: So that's why I think words are so important. And like if you wanna label yourself, go ahead. It's not necessary for change is really all I say like, I don't like any labels at all. So, I've always kind of been a rebel against labels and you know, I really think that that's up to the individual. So I do things a lot different in the way also that like, we don't count days.

[00:17:15] Mary Wagstaff: We really work one circumstance at a time because different scenarios, like you said, you're having this first experience about going on this trip or whatever. And you're gonna have different thoughts about that than you will say in the evening at your home. Right? So different circumstances are gonna have different challenges based on your interpretation, your subjective interpretation of them.

[00:17:39] Mary Wagstaff: They create different emotions and different thoughts about you and who you think you are and how we think other people are gonna view us, right? Cause we put thoughts into other people's heads. So I teach my clients to examine. Circumstance by circumstance so that they can start to generate evidence and really empower themselves that, wow, by applying a new mindset, by applying mindfulness principles and tools, I can see it's working in this one area, so let me just shift it and we'll examine this next area and this next area.

[00:18:09] Mary Wagstaff: Now, the more we can take the chemical of alcohol outta the picture, the better. But drinking when you're trying to form a new relationship to alcohol. Actually also has a lot of really valuable information because we know if say you don't drink for 14 days, then you have a drink, well now we can actually evaluate it with the tools that I use and from a neutral third party, which is me, and say like, well, let's just really dive into this and look at.

[00:18:35] Mary Wagstaff: Why, right? What was the emotion you weren't willing to feel? Where were you at in your cycle? What else was going on in the world? What were the external stressors around you that maybe we can mitigate those as well, mostly from your mindset also. So, yeah, it's a whole different approach and it's, what it does is it's not only just useful for alcohol, but it really is the way that you can improve your life in every single area, because again, it's a system of mindset and mindfulness that has infinite value for anyone that's interested in living a life by design and really living a life of deep self-inquiry and like full ultimate potential. 

[00:19:15] Maya Acosta: So I'm loving your approach. And so I've said often I believe in, in really having a coach to work on any area of your life that you'd like to enhance.

[00:19:26] Maya Acosta: And so as you're going down the list, I'm telling you, I just love what I'm hearing. You're going down the list of how, rather than focusing on counting days, right? Cause every time you count a day, you feel like you're holding it up and you're making the little mark. One more day, one more day that I've been off alcohol, or no longer consuming.

[00:19:44] Maya Acosta: Approaching it from its circumstances approach is incredible. I love it. I'm thinking of like, I'm making a list here of what you're saying. It's like once it, like the first time I went on vacation and I knew I was deliberate, I will no longer be consuming alcohol, especially here on vacation. So I went through this experience of being on vacation, enjoying the sun, enjoying the ocean, enjoying my partner.

[00:20:09] Maya Acosta: Without having any alcohol, and it was a very different experience. But I can see, you know, women that are stressed at managing their homes or having an upset, and the first thing we do is reach for a glass of wine or whatever may be. So you're helping them go through various circumstances and what you just said is so key.

[00:20:29] Maya Acosta: Helping them to realize what is the emotion that they're not willing to feel based on that circumstance. And then getting them through. Yeah. That's incredible. 

[00:20:37] Mary Wagstaff: Yeah, and that's what's interesting like about vacation, right? And so we also have this kind of idea that, oh, well I only drink when I'm happy. I only drink when I'm celebrating.

[00:20:47] Mary Wagstaff: But when we really start to examine that, It doesn't really make much sense. It's like, well, if you're already happy and it's a good time, then what's the need? Right? We think it amplifies it, but when we really start to pay attention and get very curious about it, and the two main emotions that I encourage people to look at their relationship to alcohol through is curiosity.

[00:21:09] Mary Wagstaff: Like really taking that witness consciousness perspective and compassion. Compassion for yourself. Of course, this is gonna be challenging. Like some of it's gonna be weird, it's gonna be new. I'm gonna be fully embodied. So things might be really heightened at first, but you know, it's like, wow, what does it feel like just to feel joy naturally. What does it feel like to be really relaxed on vacation and in the elements of the beach? Like the salt water? I remember the first time I was a huge margarita drinker. I mean, loved margaritas, loved Mexico, and the first time I went to Mexico and I didn't drink, I was like, okay, like we're not doing this right.

[00:21:48] Mary Wagstaff: And I hadn't been drinking for a while already. It was, again, a new circumstance that those path, those groups in our brain are very, very deep, especially when we have a chemical reward associated to them. Like they're deep as it is, but then we attach this external chemical reward and it's like, okay, it's a whole nother layer.

[00:22:08] Mary Wagstaff: The other layer about alcohol that's even more challenging is that we use it as a reward. We use it to reward ourselves. So a lot of people will take a break from alcohol and then they'll use alcohol as the reward from taking the break, which gives alcohol so much more power in the mind. Don't ever reward yourself with alcohol if you take a break from alcohol, because like, it's like double reinforcement.

[00:22:34] Mary Wagstaff: So this is where the mindfulness comes in, where it's like, okay, wow. What is this whole experience of this vacation and what am I really missing out on? Everything's actually available to me. And what you find when you go through this process and when you're examining it, and I really like this is what the power of coaching is, we really get to pull it out.

[00:22:53] Mary Wagstaff: We're not just kind of like, oh, I did that. I did that. It's like every week it's like, okay, what were the results you got? What were the results you got? Because then you're reinforcing that new behavior and the positive impact that it's having because there is no negative impact of not drinking. There is no negative impact. 

[00:23:11] Mary Wagstaff: Mm-hmm. , because you're learning what you think alcohol does for you. On your own, but way better through full association, full embodiment, full empowerment. And so the times that are happy, you know, I tell people to experience what that's like and really pay attention to that process of celebration without it.

[00:23:32] Mary Wagstaff: And then we really work on resistance because resistance. Is something that every human is going to experience in life, especially when it comes to change, right? Change is constant. It's the only constant we know that. And with great change comes resistance. And if you cannot get good at being okay with resistance or discomfort, then you're gonna really struggle and always fight change, and always fight growth.

[00:23:55] Mary Wagstaff: So, Resistance is really just a sensation in the body, and I really teach people to move from the story, what's happening in our mind. Most of the time we're experiencing our emotions in our mind. We're like thinking about our emotions. Oh my gosh, and we're trying to run away. But when we can experience the emotions in the body as just a sensation, as an energetic vibration, Very much a part of our human experience.

[00:24:22] Mary Wagstaff: It's literally what makes us human. It's what differentiates us from many species, our emotions and our consciousness. We better get good at being friendly with our emotions or else we're just gonna keep seeking a way out. And it turns out, Maya, that your emotions, especially as women, and I don't like to generalize, but I really do find.

[00:24:45] Mary Wagstaff: We don't live linearly. We live in spirals. We live in cycles and rhythms with the moon, with the earth, and. In relationships, right? And we, our emotions are at the forefront of our decision, of our lives, and they are very, very powerful tools for us, for empowerment, for pleasure, for change, for purpose. And so I teach my clients on a deep level how to really use their emotions as powerful tools for manifestation, for growth, for purpose.

[00:25:19] Mary Wagstaff: And versus as experiences to have versus a problem that they're just like trying to deal with and get rid of. Right? Because like every emotion is a whole new experience that you get to have. And if we always are using alcohol, then we're just being in the same vibration again and again and again. We're basically trying to relive the past over and over again.

[00:25:41] Mary Wagstaff: And when we try to avoid change, we're really fighting against reality, and that is just gonna be a struggle. You will always, always lose. So it's really important to just get good at resistance, get comfortable with resistance, not make it mean anything and. Stop trying to fight reality because change gonna come and you better get on board with it.

[00:26:04] Maya Acosta: The whole retraining or breaking up some of the patterns or changing the patterns and the habits. It's work. And especially when you grow up in a household where you're. Discourage from expressing yourself. Yeah. From really talking about your upsets. And I'm learning to do that, not only because I no longer numb myself with alcohol, but I realized I was doing it with television too.

[00:26:28] Maya Acosta: Like I'm exhausted and I'll sit in front of the television and sometimes I work at the same time. So now I'm doing a challenge without any television. And what I'm realizing, Mary is that because I don't have these distractions. I sit with myself and I realize, wow, I'm tired. Like my feet are hurting. Those are things that I don't pay attention to when I have too much distraction.

[00:26:51] Maya Acosta: And the other day I had an upset and I found myself crying like a child, and I was expressing myself to my husband, telling him that I was upset. And the next day I had a meeting with my coach and I'm telling her about my upset, and I said, and by the way, it was a full moon. I tell her that because I really feel like the full moon added to it, although for me, the full moon has always been when I feel.

[00:27:14] Maya Acosta: The most alive. Mm-hmm. , I feel my best, I feel the most aligned. I feel connected to all that is with the Full Moon. I love it. So I don't necessarily have those crazy, whatever people stereotype full moons to be. Mm-hmm. , but to me, I love the Full Moon. I long for it, but I did had a flow of all this stuff and I'm allowing, when you say compassion, I'm allowing myself to be okay with my upsets.

[00:27:40] Maya Acosta: When I get upset, I'll sit with myself and I'll say, I feel angry, like I'm feeling angry about what just happened, and sometimes I don't like myself for being angry. Right, and that's what you're saying, like you're helping people to be okay with what they're experiencing. Especially women. 

[00:27:56] Mary Wagstaff: Yeah, beautiful. I'm so proud of you for doing that. And it's like, it's huge, you know? And I think, like you said, especially when we grow up in environments where that's not really welcomed, and again, I think it just comes back to evolution. A. We have been, the structure of our society has been such that of achievement, really looking towards achievement versus experience and being, and like being in the living part of life.

[00:28:23] Mary Wagstaff: And that achievement energy is a very masculine energy and there's nothing wrong with it. So to now where we're at, right? Like that's why yoga, holistic arts, you know, the work you're doing, the connection that more women and people in general are having with the lunar cycles and bringing back some of these feminine mysteries that have been long since forgotten and just connection with the Earth and herbal medicinals and all sorts of different things.

[00:28:48] Mary Wagstaff: I really just. I just think as a part of our evolution that's needed now more than ever coaching the industry of coaching, right? It's like there, it's so powerful because we are knowing that our human emotions are what dictate our actions and our behavior, and if we don't address them, then we're always looking to the outside.

[00:29:12] Mary Wagstaff: We kind of go frantic looking to just change the external circumstances. Really at the end, the result we want is an emotion, right? We do things because we wanna feel a certain way, but we actually can start. Earlier with our thinking, with our perspective, with the way our in relationship to ourselves, we can actually create emotions before we even ever have the result.

[00:29:36] Mary Wagstaff: And this is kind of manifesting 1 0 1 and you know, law of attraction, which is really our thoughts. The vibration of our thoughts and our emotions combined is the fuel into our actions. So this is, I say to people, you know, you cannot drink all day long, right? But if your emotions and your thought, your mindset is not in alignment with a different version of yourself, and a lot of it is about creating a new self-concept.

[00:30:01] Mary Wagstaff: Who is the woman on the other side of alcohol? Like, who do I wanna become? If I could be any version of a person on the other side of alcohol, what do I want that to look like? And then, To create that mindset, you make decisions from that place. Just like if you were working to achieve like a financial goal, right?

[00:30:19] Mary Wagstaff: So if I, I'm an entrepreneur and I wanna be a million dollar earner, well I make decisions from that place now, right? And so it's kind of the same with alcohol. If I wanna be a woman where alcohol is irrelevant and I'm radiant and I'm vibrating, and I'm, people are admiring me, or they think like, wow, how powerful, making decisions from the mindset of that person. So if you're only just never just not drinking, like you said, like holding on for a dear life, that one more checkbox, that one more calendar day, and you don't take your mindset with you. You're just gonna end up in deprivation. You're gonna be grouchy and you're gonna just be wanting to drink the whole time.

[00:30:56] Mary Wagstaff: And what. Is so powerful about my program is that my clients actually learn to eliminate their desired for alcohol altogether. Right now, it doesn't happen overnight. Our brain thoughts or thoughts, we can't erase them, but they learn how to discern the difference between just a thought. Just observing a thought and not taking it so seriously.

[00:31:18] Mary Wagstaff: They learn how to process and urge or their emotions. They learn how to shift their mindset to have a new perspective about something that might be out of their control, right? If we have a negative perspective about something that is out of our control and we're judging it, and we're shaming it, and it's affecting us in a negative way, Well, is that useful?

[00:31:36] Mary Wagstaff: So we really work with the thinking and the emotions to fuel the behavior for every area of your life. And I did wanna say something about your full Moon experience and the way that I see the Full Moon, and I love that you're in relationship and in awe of her because she is just such a magnificent part of her experience here on Earth is she really amplifies what is present for us in that moment. And depending on maybe where you're at in your own cycle, where what else is happening up in the stars, there's an amplification of what do I need to look at right now? What is ready to be addressed? And obviously for you in that moment, there was like a deep need for, I mean, crying as a release, right?

[00:32:19] Mary Wagstaff: It's a shedding, it's a letting go. And so I really honor that in you, that you were able to do that and, and you know, work through that process. I think that’s. What a beautiful time to have that experience with the support of the full moon. 

[00:32:34] Maya Acosta: Absolutely. So you being sort of given us a glimpse into your program, uh, I have a couple of other questions associated with that.

[00:32:41] Maya Acosta: Um, do you solely work with women? I know you support, uh, women to wake up to their divine energy. That's one. And who is your ideal client? 

[00:32:51] Mary Wagstaff: Yes, I do work exclusively with women. I don't, you know, The process works for anyone. It's the same. So if someone listened to the podcast and listened to what I'm saying here today, we all have a human brain. 

[00:33:04] Mary Wagstaff: So the, the mindset, the mindfulness, the curiosity, the compassion would absolutely work for anyone. But I feel like creating a really spec exclusive container, especially talking about the divine feminine mysteries in my program, um, you know, is, is, is an offering to where we don't have a lot of exclusive spaces just for women, and we're starting to see that more.

[00:33:28] Mary Wagstaff: So that's my offering to the, to the, to the feminine, um, in this way. And not that just women experience feminine.But it is my offering to women. Um, and. And who is my ex? Um, yes. So my ideal client is a woman who is interested in self-inquiry and is really like, done with alcohol. Now, there might be, I always tell people, you are not gonna start to change your relationship to alcohol without some resistance, but.

[00:34:00] Mary Wagstaff: You have some determination and no, this is eventually going to have to change, or I will never be able to meet my potential and whatever that looks like for you. So someone that's really ex loves life, that's excited about adventure and life and knows that they have more to offer, more potential, more they wanna experience in their life.

[00:34:21] Mary Wagstaff: So they're open, they're curious, and um, most of the women that come to me, are really on a path of spiritual awakening. And they may or may not like necessarily know that in words, but they really hear this whisper of their higher self, of someone that's like, girl, like you gotta do this. There's so much that, you know, you keep putting on the back burner in ways that you know, you wanna be different in the world and maybe even the way you show up for your children and being more present for your family and being the best, uh, version of an employee you can be.

[00:34:58] Mary Wagstaff: You know, just like you deserve to feel really good every day. And I mean, so the program is for everyone, and I've worked with women from all over the world with varying relationships to alcohol, but really it is the woman who is awakening to herself and is ready to really rediscover who she is. At this stage in her life, because for most people, when we start drinking, you're a younger version of yourself, so there's actually so much wisdom that you have inside of you that's gonna support this transition that you know you just haven't.

[00:35:36] Mary Wagstaff: Had the opportunity to come and let shine through to kind of rise inside of you. And so yeah, women that like adventure and you know, really are interested in. The, I would have to say kind of, you know, sincerity, some more sentimental and the subtle, the subtle shifts of life. And they can feel that inside of themselves.

[00:36:02] Mary Wagstaff: And I think this is a lot of women actually, but mostly the women that are attracted to me are kind of in that vibrational realm of, of awakening to themselves, um, in a deeper way. 

[00:36:14] Maya Acosta: It's interesting when you talk about reaching your full potential before I got as involved as I am right now and understanding all of this.

[00:36:22] Maya Acosta: I remember seeing a sober coach on YouTube and he was talking about celebrities and he's a coach. He coaches through YouTube, this particular person, but he was speaking of a particular, uh, celebrity who's a comedian. And early on I remember seeing this person when I lived in San Diego. This comedian and he was drunk pretty much before he blew up and became as, uh, big as he is.

[00:36:46] Maya Acosta: And I remember he was, You know, the energy was different. Um, ob uh, just obnoxious. Mm-hmm. in some ways. And another celebrity helped this individual go sober by basically telling him the, what you just said. You will never reach your full potential. Yeah. If you don't stop drinking and the person went, whatever, however you wanna say it.

[00:37:11] Maya Acosta: Mm-hmm. Stopped his relationship with alcohol and has been successful all of these years as a result and continues to credit the one person that helped him. And that really, really reached me. Yeah. The idea that sometimes we're just, when we're picking up a glass of wine or whatever it may be, we're drinking.

[00:37:30] Maya Acosta: We're just trying to get through the moment. We're, we're just trying, like you said now, we're not really wanting to feel what's coming up. We're trying to get through the moment without thinking about. The habits that we're doing, that these current habits are taken somewhere and they, it may not be exactly where we wanna go in life. So it sounds like you kind of help people see their future. 

[00:37:51] Mary Wagstaff: Yeah. Absolutely. What they wanna Yeah. And that's what I, yeah. 

[00:37:54] Maya Acosta: What they wanna manifest. 

[00:37:55] Mary Wagstaff: Yeah. And that's something that we talk about a lot and I really, this is something I love about the work that I do, is that it's a, it's before, during, and after.

[00:38:05] Mary Wagstaff: Right. You don't have to stop drinking to start, that's the result that you get. Right? So it's like you don't have to sign up for alcohol coaching and be like, you know, people kind of just think about the forever and it's like, oh my God, I can never drink again. And it's off the table. And it's like, no, no, no, no.

[00:38:22] Mary Wagstaff: That's what I teach you to do right now. Like I said, the more we can get alcohol out of the way. In general because it does cloud our vision and it, you know, it's like it reeks havoc on, on just like every system of the body. But so is really helping people plan to, it's like we talk about alcohol, but we talk about everything else and using the tools to, um, To do what maybe you didn't have confidence to do before to maybe what felt scary?

[00:38:49] Mary Wagstaff: What maybe just you never even dreamed of. I mean, Maya, I have dreams that I didn't even know I had now. Like changing my relationship to alcohol was I had to go to the descent, right? It's like you kind of gotta go down and look at the shadow and confront, just like with honesty and with compassion.

[00:39:07] Mary Wagstaff: Confront the story of what, of what it is, what is there. But it's like we can't ascend, we can't reach higher without having to go through some threshold, without having to go through some resistance. And this is what I, and this is the power of coaching, is that if you do it on your own, which is possible, A lot of times people will quit.

[00:39:30] Mary Wagstaff: Like they'll feel really good. They get into it. They do like, you know, it's sober October right now, and they get in through that, but then there's a wall and they meet a wall and they don't know how to get through that wall. And people experience that wall when they're with me too. But then I'm there to help them get through that next phase and have that big breakthrough.

[00:39:49] Mary Wagstaff: I just got a beautiful email from a client this morning. She's like, Mary, it's gone. She's like, I. I can't even believe it. And we had, we went on a rollercoaster ride, like it was smooth and then there was a wall, and then it was smooth and then there was a wall. And it was like, because we were reiterating the process with accountability and really just unconditional love as the. 

[00:40:10] Mary Wagstaff: The container that I create with my clients, like, there's no judgment, there's no shame. You, it's like a very fluid, honest relationship. Um, because they know, like, they know that I'm not, I'm here for them in their best interest and you know, they know my, that they know my approach. So like, because we're not starting over because they, it doesn't have, like, there's no right or wrong in life ever.

[00:40:36] Mary Wagstaff: There are just the results that you want. And what you feel comfortable with. And that's, if I could give your audience today any takeaway, it would really be that because so much of people changing their relationship to alcohol or anything really comes through the lens of conformity and what are other people gonna think?

[00:40:54] Mary Wagstaff: And it's like, first of all, a people, we're all ego-centric, so mostly people are just like thinking about themselves most of the time. Um, of course we care about other people, but like we're in our own heads, right? We're the center of our own. And, um, people are more worried about their next drink than whether or not you're drinking a, I will say that.

[00:41:13] Mary Wagstaff: Um, and b. There's no right or wrong. Do you like the results you're getting? That's all you need to know. Whether it's a headache in the morning, whether it's sleepless nights, our sleep is very important as you know, um, or whether it's like I'm not present for my kids. Like whatever it is. It doesn't matter if you, it doesn't have to be extreme or not, cuz a lot of people will compare themselves or like, well, at least I'm not like this person, right? 

[00:41:37] Mary Wagstaff: Who ends up on the floor every time they're drinking, and it's like, who cares? What do you want for your life? Because the only thing we can control in our lives is are our emotions and our thoughts and our actions. So we have to take control where we can and if we wait for someone to give us permission. We will always be waiting because you can look out in the world and Google and you will find an objection.

[00:42:02] Mary Wagstaff: You will find a way to keep alcohol around if you ask, if you try to find external validation, there's external validation for you to drink everywhere you look, so you have to look inside for the validation that it's okay to let go because alcohol, Is like a grain of sand in the hourglass of this existence in this world, right?

[00:42:23] Mary Wagstaff: If you think about a spinning on a ball of dirt in the middle of infinite space and all the amount of experiences that are possible that you'll never get to in this lifetime, it's like alcohol becomes just child's play. It's like, who cares? Been there, done that? I'm moving on. And that's really the approach I like to take too, is like we give it so much weight when it really.

[00:42:46] Mary Wagstaff: A beverage and it's like an experience that you once had and now we can move on from it. But alcohol, the, you know, alcohol is a billions of dollar industry and their marketing is so, it's so powerful to market with alcohol because alcohol in your emotions are so tied together. So marketing alcohol is very easy cuz marketing is all about.

[00:43:08] Mary Wagstaff: You know, involving the emotions, it's all about stimulating, stimulating your emotional response. Um, so it's really easy to do that with alcohol cuz that's what it does. So that was a saying a lot, but what I really want people to know is that your life is your life. No one can make your decisions for you, and you have to get honest with yourself about what you want and, and go from there.

[00:43:34] Maya Acosta: Absolutely. Yes. And I put this out there on my podcast for my listeners if in case they are interested in changing the relationship with alcohol, I decided to, to make that choice and for my health. But I will tell you, Mary, what you're talking about, that's exactly what has. Started to happen in my own life is opportunities and what I'm manifesting is very different.

[00:43:58] Maya Acosta: I have more energy, um, and not just physical energy, but I have, um, I'm starting to radiate this inner joy. Yes, that has always probably been there, but I've numbed myself from it in the past, and I, I have found myself saying recently to someone else, I, I should have just been doing this all along. I could have been doing this, uh, because I didn't have any physical kind of withdrawals or anything like that.

[00:44:24] Maya Acosta: I also like that you said that people do not have to stop drinking to work with you because it's part of, I think that's the biggest, um, Where people stumble a lot initially in other programs is they're supposed to be alcohol-free from day one. Right. And if they don't, then they're so hard on themselves.

[00:44:42] Maya Acosta: Yeah. But as we're waking up to working with our inner self through a coach like yourself mm-hmm. like working with you. Little by little we're building that resiliency and working with our emotions and we'll just, it'll become natural over time, I think to just kind of put down the glass. Yeah. And just be with ourselves.

[00:45:01] Mary Wagstaff:  Yeah, a hundred percent. And it's, and I think that's what scares people, because there's been this story that, there's only a couple ways to do it. You're either a normal drinker and you can handle it, or you're an alcoholic and you, you know, and like I've had people reach out to me and think they, you know, even talking to their doctors are like, people tell them, you're fine.

[00:45:19] Mary Wagstaff: You're fine. Right. And they're like, and they know, but I'm not, I don't like this. And so they're like, how do I get help? Like if I don't meet this certain criteria of like this, um, you know, this kind of like, I don't know, there's like a def a definition of what this type of person looks like or what they be, how they behave, and.

[00:45:41] Mary Wagstaff: And all of that's shifting. So this is like, you know, we're blazing. I always tell my clients we're blazing trails over here and there are some other people doing this work similarly, but I, I really come at it from, you know, this more of this spiritual divine feminine lens as well of. Yeah, just like loving, get learning to love yourself on the deepest level and learning to love other people too on a deep level.

[00:46:04] Mary Wagstaff: Um, so yes, it is not a requirement to start, and I think that's why some people don't reach out for help. It's about improving your life in every area. So you're gonna see improvements in. You know, the way you're responding to everything in your life, um, regardless of how much you're drinking or not. And then when you start to really feel that empowerment and you start to like not have, be able to control stress and anxiety and enjoy, enjoy times without alcohol and really feel accomplished and like just the sense of accomplishment itself is, is all the reward you.

[00:46:42] Mary Wagstaff: Versus like an external reward. Um, then the need for alcohol really just starts to slip away. And, um, yeah, we do a lot of, you know, fun emotional intimacy type of work as well, where I help people really embody their emotions from new perspective that they've never had. And so, yeah, that is why I really emphasize to people, yeah, it's not required to start the process because if it, if it was so many people would just never start, you know?

[00:47:11] Maya Acosta: Yes, yes. Yeah, I'm, I'm loving this. I, so just a quick question. Um, when you're talking about, uh, masculine energy and you said alcohol is masculine, I was wondering if you can touch a little bit about that to kind of explain, cuz I know what you're saying In coming into our feminine mysteries, our power. So that's one question.

[00:47:31] Maya Acosta: And then the, the other one is if you can expand a little bit more of what we're beginning to see, which is that sober curiosity movement. More and more people are choosing not to drink and it's, I'm always fascinated when I meet young people who have never had any alcohol. 

[00:47:47] Mary Wagstaff: It's incredible. I love that. I know. Well, I, the masculine energy. See in alcohol is really about control, right? It's about not allowing what is naturally to arise and that emotions are problems. And so when we have this tool, people do become emotional when they drink, but it's a real fire energy. Like we've seen, you know, there's like this term like angry, drunk, right?

[00:48:10] Mary Wagstaff: Or people just, and then like the wa sometimes then the emotional waters will come in of the. Tears at the end of the night if people have had too much to kind of put out that fire. And it gives us energy that we, like you were talking about, um, noticing your body, right? Like the body's wisdom starts to shine through.

[00:48:29] Mary Wagstaff: So it's like, it's this really kind of forceful, and I don't wanna ta say, I don't wanna talk about the masculine in a, in a negative way, but it's like manipulating. The in nature, right? It's like this kind of control of what naturally is like, okay, the body is tired, the body's telling me it's time, it's 10 o'clock, it's time to go to bed.

[00:48:51] Mary Wagstaff: But if I stay up right and I keep drinking while then the party's still going, cuz the booze is still flowing. And that's the only reason people are ever up past 10 o'clock or 11 o'clock at night. Right? It's cause mostly they're drinking. Um, so that's kind of the way that I see it, is that it's, it's a, it's manipulating, um, The, the circumstances, right, and not allowing it to just be fluid, to be what they are and to experience things authentically in an unaltered.

[00:49:22] Mary Wagstaff: State. And so it just has that, um, more structure to like the control, although in the end it, it loses its control, right? So that's kind of why I say it's, it is a masculine energy. Um, and maybe it's more of a wounded masculine energy. Cause I think there's so much beauty and power in the masculine. I mean, you know, with so much of what we have has been created from that.

[00:49:47] Maya Acosta: That's true. Yeah. But I will add, I, I agree with you. It, ma, it makes sense when you, if you focus on the idea that it's about control mm-hmm. and trying to push down what naturally comes to us as women is the need to express ourselves and to just be with our emotions. Mm-hmm. , uh, I can see how alcohol.

[00:50:06] Maya Acosta: Wants to shut all of that down. Yeah. And, and, and kind of almost make it fake. Like, Ooh, I'm so happy. Like . Right. A hundred percent. Very different. 

[00:50:15] Mary Wagstaff: Yeah. Right. And I mean, we know that women's alcohol consumption has increased as women have gone out into the world, into the workforce, right? Where women were, you know, back in ’50s.

[00:50:28] Mary Wagstaff: Women were at home more forties, fifties, they started. So as women have risen in the ranks with men, so has alcohol consumption, because there's been like, like I was talking about earlier, how do I be a, a powerful leader? In this world where feminine leadership isn't really mirrored right, and we know there's a lack of mirroring and representation of many, many different types of people in the world.

[00:50:52] Mary Wagstaff: So that's just one facet of it. And so it's like, okay, well I can use this tool, alcohol. Um, and that was very much my experience. Um, I had really strong women in my life. But they always kind of led really through a masculine lens. So it's like, oh, I can be independent and kind of belly up to the bar with the boys, but I, I have this drink because like, who, how am I gonna be myself, my feminine self?

[00:51:14] Mary Wagstaff: Like when that's not really. Part of the conversation, right? It just wasn't there. So I just, I didn't even know it was missing until I was exposed to it. And that's what's interesting too. I find when you remove alcohol, you have all these awarenesses of like, wow, I didn't even know that that was missing until I did, until I started to become aware of it.

[00:51:38] Mary Wagstaff: And then you had asked me also about the sober curious movement, and I really think it comes back to evolution. I think where our consciousness as humans is evolving and opening more up. Um, as we had entered into this digital age, we've seen. More people have more power because we have more shared knowledge and access to information than ever before.

[00:52:02] Mary Wagstaff: But I think that there's also a huge tipping point from the nature of who we are as like organic beings on this planet, right? We're not robots. And so we've really like, it's the both and right? Where it's like we have access to all this information and we realize the kind of narrative of you gotta go from A to B, to C to D, like go to school, get married.

[00:52:26] Mary Wagstaff: Like that whole American dream kind of narrative isn't required. And you know, people are becoming very successful and Independent, there's a lot of entrepreneurship, um, right from the comfort of their own home, and this is giving power to the, the really, to the, the masses. And so I think with that is becoming an awareness that the kind of a narrative that.

[00:52:50] Mary Wagstaff: Of a story that we've been buying into. Again, whether it's intentional or unintentional, does it really matter? I think people are awakening more to their innate power that they have to really create their own reality and their own life by design through. The power of the mind through the power of pos positivity through the power of thought and emotion.

[00:53:12] Mary Wagstaff: Um, and so the need for alcohol just isn't as necessary because when we awaken and are aligned with our, with our, our being, mind, body, soul, without dogma, without so much mar or dictation, um, Yeah, I see like these younger people, they're like, they're doing kundalini yoga, right? They're getting high in these like other ways of like expanding their consciousness.

[00:53:38] Mary Wagstaff: Um, and me too, versus numbing themselves and dissociating, like doing ecstatic dance meditation, travel ca cow, right? Like there's all of these access to all of these other amazing modalities that expand our, expand who we are versus contract who we are. And so it's just like, uh, it's, it's just different strokes for like a new age, and it's, I love it.

[00:54:04] Mary Wagstaff: I love being part of this experience right now. 

[00:54:07] Maya Acosta: Yes. Yes. And in many ways it's always been part of who you are because you started with this whole, the yoga in the, kind of in the wellness field for many years, but you just changed your relationship with alcohol. So what is the best way for people to start working with you? Yes. And also if you can tell us about your podcast? 

[00:54:27] Mary Wagstaff: Oh, I would love to, for people to come visit the podcast. So whoever you are, you will take a lot away from the show. It's called Stop Drinking and Start Living. You can get it on any podcast platform you listen to. And I'm just wrapping up a 30-day podcast takeover of my own podcast.

[00:54:44] Mary Wagstaff: So there's a lot of new, really powerful content and it's not. I don't just sit around talking about like sober stories, um, which are powerful. I do have interviews on there, especially in my earlier days, but I have guest interviews and client interviews, um, which can be very useful to, you know, to relate, but it's really content-based, so it's like tools that you can apply and, and, and take, listen to one podcast episode and just apply that principle to your life.

[00:55:11] Mary Wagstaff: You know, see, keep bringing it back and back for a whole week and just see what shifts for you. And people have really amazing shifts already from the podcast. And then, um, if you go to my website, marywagstaffcoach.com, there is a free training, which is based on the, the main tool that I use with my clients.

[00:55:31] Mary Wagstaff: And the, it's really a mindset concept called the Five Shift. And, um, you can get the free training there. And it also incorporates what I have understood to be the Five myths of quitting drinking. So some things that you may have tried in the past to change your relationship to alcohol that have been.

[00:55:50] Mary Wagstaff: That have not worked. I look at those as well and, and really examine why they haven't worked based on how we actually learn scientifically as humans. Um, and then applying the Five shifts principles, which is mindset and mindfulness. And then from there they can schedule a alignment session with me to talk about possibility for the next step. This has been all that's right on my website.

[00:56:12] Maya Acosta: Has so, Full. So energizing. I'm so excited that you, your offerings cater to women and what we are going through, um, just in general because we do, we are living in a society that needs that beautiful feminine energy to support us women and our families and, and to hopefully continue to evolve.

[00:56:34] Maya Acosta: So I'm very thankful that you came on the show to share all of this with us. And, uh, thank you so much. 

[00:56:42] Mary Wagstaff: Yes. Thank you so much for having me. It's such an honor to be here and I just wish everyone the most empowered day they can have. And Mary, it may take a lot away from this. 

[00:56:51] Maya Acosta: It's not you that needs to change to be better suited for alcohol. You will learn that alcohol is no longer suited for the life. You want to live. That's what Mary says. She's a holistic alcohol coach and podcaster who helps people achieve sobriety. She has 23 years of experience practicing yoga and other health and wellness modalities. Mary grew up in a culture where alcohol was a regular part of socializing.

[00:57:17] Maya Acosta: Her dad even taught her how to bartend. I always say that there was some version of me that wanted to stop drinking. It was never in full alignment with who I wanted to express myself as a human. Says Mary as an alcohol coach. Mary teaches her clients how to use their emotions as powerful tools for manifestation, growth and purpose.

[00:57:40] Maya Acosta: She says, quote, My clients learn to eliminate their desires for alcohol. It doesn't happen overnight, but they learn to discern the differences between just a thought and observing the thought. They learn to shift their mindset to have a new perspective about something that might be out of their control end of quote.

[00:57:59] Maya Acosta: According to Mary, her ideal client is a woman interested in self-inquiry and is ready to stop consuming alcohol. She has worked with women from all over the world with varying relationships to alcohol. Most of the women that come to her are on a path of spiritual awakening. Alcohol is a billion-dollar industry, and its marketing is powerful.

[00:58:21] Maya Acosta: Marketing alcohol is all about involving emotions and stimulating the emotional response. People are more worried about their next drink than whether or not they like the results that they're getting. According to Mary, alcohol has a masculine energy, which is all about control. In other words, we numb ourselves with alcohol when we cannot control outside forces.

[00:58:44] Maya Acosta: She believes that women's alcohol consumption has increased as women have gone out into the world and into the workforce as a result. So has alcohol consumption increased among women? If you're ready to change your relationship with alcohol, contact Mary at marywagstaffcoach.com. And also make sure to check out her podcast.

[00:59:03] Maya Acosta: It's called Stop Drinking and Start Living Podcast, my friends, I hope that you enjoyed this episode. I hope that it's valuable. And as always, I wanna thank you for being a listener. You've been listening to the Healthy Lifestyle Solutions podcast with your host Maya Acosta. If you've enjoyed this podcast, do us a favor and share with one friend who can benefit from this episode. Feel free to leave us an honest review on Apple Podcast that helps us to spread our message. Thanks for listening.